Beep beep

The automobile horn is designed for emergency use; it warns other cars of lane encroachment, or pedestrians of your presence, etc. It is NOT intended to be used in gridlocked traffic to convey your frustration and/or annoyance at the drivers in front of you.
Yet, in any urban environment you will be overwhelmed with a cacophony of bleating horns, not saying, "Look Out!" but rather "What's the hold up?" or "Come on! The light changed to green! Who cares if the lady pushing a stroller hasn't cleared the intersection! Move it!" There is simply too much horn abuse in this country.
Therefore, I propose the installation of a device in automobiles which will sense if the horn is used while the car is not making any forward progress, like gridlocked urban traffic, and if so, will deploy the driver's airbag. Right?

An Interstate runs through it

You know how some people's blogs and twits get sort of annoying because they are putting out way too much information? Do we really need to know what they had for breakfast or that they had to retie their shoe three times? No. No. My promise to you, gentle reader, is that I'll find a different and, hopefully, better way to annoy you.

Two and a half months between posts! I guess I should apologize to the clamoring-for-more public, but honestly, if I weren't being threatened with a law suite for not meeting my contractual obligations, I wouldn't even be posting this! You see, I've been spending every waking hour trying to make sense of Obama's health care plan. It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it! But do not weep for me, Argentina - or Bayonne, New Jersey for that matter. I have found common ground with Mr. POTUS (Cue cheers, applause and balloon drop)! I too think Kanye West is a jackass.

Show of hands: who stopped reading and started looking at the map when I mentioned health care? Ah huh, over half of you. Then let's talk motorcycles! That's my most recent run of merit. Oh, there have been numerous runs to Harris Teeter and the liquor store - not necessarily in that order - but nothing blog-worthy. There was that one time I thought I bought too many groceries and couldn't fit them all into the saddle bags. Mild panic! It was kind of like playing Tetris™, as I dropped different items in to get the best fit. I actually drew a crowd! Ok, it was the kid who gathers up the shopping carts, but still. And then there was the time I couldn't start the bike. Sitting in my optometrist's parking lot with a totally dead bike! I was on the phone with the dealership when I realized I hadn't put the kill switch in the 'run' position. Please don't tell anyone! I'm so embarrassed. We'll talk about the map next time.

Take me home, country roads

I took a 'Get Acquainted' ride on my new bike yesterday. It was my second time on the bike, the first being the trip home from the dealer.

I choose to ride out into rural western Howard County for two reasons; 1) the scenery is nice and, 2) lack of traffic! I get nervous just being in the garage with this behemoth, let alone in heavy traffic. There, I admit it. This bike intimidates me! It's big! Maybe not like an Electra Glide, but certainly heftier than the Buells we rode in Rider's Edge.

But that will pass with more time on the beast, and even though I was mildly nervous during the entire ride, the overriding feeling for the entire 45 mile junket was pure, unadulterated joy! What a rush! If you ride, you know what I'm talking about! When I got back home, my jaw was sore from grinning so much! Everything melted away except the road, the bike and me. There was no singing to the radio, no cell phone chat, no dinner menu planning, no pondering the latest governmental screw up. Just thoughts about the bike, the blessings of the weather, the beauty of the countryside, and the dawning realization that I am the luckiest man on the face of the earth!

Ride true!

Chronicles of Insanity

I just bought a bike. A '09 Harley Fat Boy. It's a totally selfish purchase on my part, since my wife of 30+ years wants nothing to do with it. She wanted me to buy it, but doesn't want to ride with me. As you know, a marriage doesn't survive 30+ years if one of the partners is selfish. So it's safe to assume that I am not a selfish guy. Yet this purchase can be cast in no other light.

So the purpose of this blog is to explore the madness behind this purchase. Let's go for a few rides together and see if we can't figure out the powerful attraction motorcycles hold for some people.